You find yourself often in a rush. You may not be quite sure where you are going but keeping on the move to somewhere seems important. Goals, objectives, priorities and task lists are the order of the day. Stress is an acceptable fact that needs to be kept at controllable levels.

In your personal world of control, time-management and righting the ship as quickly as possible, getting help as a course of action is perceived as an inconvenience. Legacy therapy, indeed help in general is not a pop-a-pill fast-acting modality. For those of you old enough to remember there was a television show based upon who can Name That Tune in the shortest number of notes. Likewise, help in the shortest number of sessions is held out to be the contest winner.

Many of the presenting symptoms such as anxiety, depression, broken relationships, directionlessness, uncontrolled emotions and various stress-related complaints took years to emerge. You have taken a lifetime to create this beautiful creature, called you, in all its dysfunctional and sustainable glory. You will not regain control of your person, your Self-In-The-World overnight. What I tell clients interested in help is give yourself four to six sessions. At that point you will know whether you are in the right place.

Your perceptions and emotions are the guide to therapy. Sessions are personal and everyone responds to change in their own time.

This question can be addressed in two ways. It can be answered from a strictly scientific, research-based perspective. In this case the answer is a decided yes. People who get help do better in alleviating their symptoms than control groups going it on their own. But, I strongly suspect this is not what drives this question. After thirty years of working with people in various capacities this question is usually a disguised form of statement. So, all we are going to do is just sit and talk. How is that different from talking with a good friend? It also disguises people’s fears and anxieties that their inner world is murky, unknown and shouldn’t they be the best person to know what’s right? A similar fear is being forced to learn and experience unwanted feelings and the very idea of change.

Friends have an agenda. They may have your interests at heart but they have needs in the conversation that are self motivated. When I work with each individual I am there for only you. With over thirty years of experience, I keep a lens that stays focused on you and helps with perceptions and feelings that your friend does not have as a skill set. The second part of the question that concerns our unknown inner world is the reality that learning to be comfortable and open to the deep mystery of awareness goes a long way toward lowering anxiety and struggle. Also the fear of the unknown and the uncertainties of change quickly give way to excitement and inner comfort.

So you have decided to seek out a therapist. What can you expect? While every therapist has their personality and their own way of being I will speak from my experience. Generally speaking most people are great avoiders of their personal truth. People avoid uncomfortable feelings, thoughts that don’t fit some historically preordained rules and perceptions that don’t fall into the boundaries of the acceptable. Feelings and thoughts are often at odds.

To say that avoidance itself is the crux of struggle is too oversimplified. Yet, most “A HA” moments in therapy come from seeing the obvious in the moment that you the client did not witness. Helping you to stop and see your person in the moment, in the mirror of self-reflection is an energy that unties the emotional knots. Stopping to hear your voice, your patterned thoughts and physical reactions can be both exhilirating and disturbing. When this is combined with non-judgment and compassion your protective guard comes down.Tthe A-HA happens because you give yourself permission to own and be responsible to what you knew all along.

Therapy is an adventure of learning that has ups and downs; joys and sorrows. While the final destination is never reached you gain you on the journey

Many conversations over the years with friends start with, “You must be really busy. Everyone seems like they need help.” As well intended as these people are, no matter how many years go by, the idea of seeking help still carries a stigma. To seek help means you were incapable of handling life on your own. So, while my quip of an answer may be, “Sure everyone needs help but they don’t know that,” this is because I do not view seeking help as a weakness.

The fact that you are asking the question says the answer is a yes. At the same time my unsubstantiated statistics over the years would fall into the following categories. In my opinion the vast majority of people wait too long to reach out for help. Approximately 65 percent of people seek help because the pain in their lives is substantial and can no longer be avoided. Another group of about 25 percent seek assistance because they can see the patterns of their life are leading to future confrontations and they choose to be proactive. The final group of 10 percent choose a developmental path and a learning approach to life in general.

My goal would be to try and move the 10 percent group toward fifty percent. In general terms 'seek assistance' is a good life motto. Learn at all times. Bring creative change into your living. There is a reason that every historical religion has said in some form or other to, “Know Thyself."

I receive this question often and never have a great answer. My most succinct answer is threefold. One. Of course I can not really comment usefully on who you may have seen or their approach. A psychiatrist, a psychologist and a psychotherapist have different training. A psychiatrist is a medical doctor whose main priority is a pharmaceutical intervention. A psychologist is trained as a scientist of mental and emotional observations and a psychotherapist is a trained listener. Even this statement is overgeneralized.

The second perspective is to truly understand that the helping relationship is an interactive journey. You are not a passive participant. It takes your active engagement in the process. It is sad to say but I have met a significant number of clients over the years whose unaware motivation was to sabotage the help. While sabotage takes different forms such as lying, intellectualizing or trying to prove they are a step ahead of the therapist, the end result is a person scared of change, emotional upset and the vulnerability of openness. One client openly admitted that his goal was to sabotage in order to prove his lack of worth to change. He did not want to take the responsibility for his life. He also had a spouse at home afraid of being left behind in his change process.

The third answer is to give a brief overview of my approach. I am not an adherent of a disease-based model of mental illness. I am confrontative and compassionate. I believe it is important to learn to laugh at our foibles and emotional traps. Without humour everything seems like a stressful problem to be solved with little room for openness, silence, softness and the time to process literally grieving the loss of your dysfunctional self experience. My inclination is to see the change process as a living experiment supported by trust in creative unfolding and your ability to learn the difference between healthy experience and emotional stability versus a historical view that tries to force life into preconceived rules and expectations. Have a look at the AIM and FIRE health principles on the website.

I have a deep conviction that every single person has the capability and inner resources to move from knowledge to wisdom and from life strategies to self-sustainability.

First allow me to state that appreciating spiritual necessity is my belief and my bias. Whether in coaching or therapy, I view spirituality as an essential ingredient of success. While it is often said, I will reiterate that spirituality is not about religion. I know religious people who are spiritual; religious people without a very strong spiritual sense and I know a growing number of people who would say they are spiritual but not religious.

While it is never necessary that a client accept where I am coming from, I do not believe in the reality of an "objective and detached" therapist. Therapy is an intentful and alive learning experience. How you wrestle with the mystery of your existence is vital to a stable being. Life is painful but that is a truth immensely different from how you create suffering for self and other.

From the Integral Courage perspective, the process with any client is entirely directed toward your health which includes you physically and emotionally; it includes your health mentally in terms of thoughts and living strategy; it includes your spirituality which concerns meaning, health values and your connections of support. One of the better defintions I have heard is from Dr. Christina Puchalski who said, “Spirituality is the aspect of humanity that refers to the way individuals seek and express meaning and purpose and the way they experience their connectedness to the moment, to self, to others, to nature, and to the significant or sacred."

Spirituality helps with our success because it is an aspect of wanting to take responsibility for your beliefs and actions. It is also an indicator of how we relate to the consequences of our choices.

When your emotions are tight and controlled, it is difficult to be spontaneous and open to the world around you. Many people are socially anxious and expend a lot of emotional energy making sure they are seen in their expected light. They want to make sure they are understood. With personal defensiveness and sets of expectations being front and centre, your creative being runs and hides.

A second major ingredient of spiritual-emotional maturity is a sense of being whole unto oneself. Silence and aloneness are rejuvenating. Unfortunately, our worlds are increasingly a virus of distraction. Our socially connected lives are void of deep connection yet many participants are anxious if they don't check Facebook 10 times a day.

Spirituality is a raw and uncontrived simplicity. One of the greatest discoveries is acknowledging there is no path that proves self-worth. The paradox is that only a person who is emotionally well-grounded is willing to know that inner peace and solidity stems from decreasing self-focus.

Your life challenges become problems leading to "dis-ease" because of the greater focus on self and self without connectedness causes all manner of breakdown in families, careers and relationships.

One of the longest standing Buddhist spiritual commentaries is called the Four Noble Truths. The first noble truth would agree on the surface that life sucks even though the books read, “Life is suffering.” We are born, we will get sick, grow old and die. Seems like a terrible life position. In the face of this truth one can curl up in a corner, cover your eyes and wait for the inevitable or one can simply ask now what. It also goes without saying that most people brush aside this reality in favour of putting the outcome completely out of awareness. Taking this position allows you to not feel burdened by llfe’s reality but it may surprise you to know it also limits your potential happiness.

If you imagine living forever ask yourself where your motivation to act would come from when every response could be based on later rather than now. Now in the context of life difficulty, when wrapped up in the burdens and stresses of living, you act as if struggle will last forever. If I ask why your life “sucks” right now, you will proceed to give me a list of challenges as if it is a mathematical formula but you forget that you are creating the addition.

There are two other amazing principles to help with struggle. Everything changes is one and the other is everything is impermanent. These tie into suffering in that the adding up in your mind is equivalent to clinging to permanence. There is only one possible conclusion and that is every moment of difficulty comes from your mind. While this conclusion does not take the struggle away it certainly gives each of us the place to look for the solution.

Spirituality has always been an important part of life changes and human values.

In 300 BC the theory of life force was formalized in China called Qi. In 500 BC the psychological notions of Buddhism were presented as the Eightfold Path.

It is only in more modern times that science has been arrogant enough to call the ancients devisors of magical thinking. Yet Carl Jung was fascinated by the I Ching, Maslow looked in awe at the blending of eastern and western forms of mysticism and Freud looked intently to the Kabbalah and Jewish Zohar for inspiration in his writings.

Spirituality is the glue that binds much of western thought. Even the often quoted Einstein said, "The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind a faithful servant. We have created a society that honours the servant and has forgotten the gift."

In the simplest sense a coach is an expert who offers advice through strategy and education. In contrast, a therapist maybe an expert yet operates through a process of getting you to appreciate your own answers. A therapist helps you to see your positive strengths and to relate differently to your judgments of weakness.

Legacy Coaching is Dr. McDonald's approach to wellness and education and is based upon the AIM and FIRE principles that are talked about on this website. This form of coaching definitely has an agenda to be worked with.

I have worked with many groups over the years. In the last few years I have offered programs under the banner of "Sacred Ecology." The intent behind this label is to confront, examine and develop practices that induce sustainable leadership and spiritual human values.

These are comprehensive programs generally with smaller organizations whose leadership recognizes that their long-term success is best served through a culture that gives much more than lip service to openness, creativity an the love of the human spirit.

Legacy Therapy sessions are generally once a week for an hour. Coaching on the other hand are scheduled blocks of time based on 3, 6 or 12 month commitments.

As an example, a Legacy Coaching contract could be for 30-100 hours with blocks of time arranged over the next 12 months.

Each person's needs are different and a coaching contract is designed around these needs.

Legacy Coaching is built around one very specific premise. "Your future is now." Time is an ever-present movement but the only entry point to this wisdom is right now. You can not think about wisdom or plan how to get it.

You are already everything you need. The issue is immersion. It is called "Legacy" because whatever you have to leave this world after you have gone is based upon how present you were in this life.

Most people spend so little of this precious gift of life being present. Yet, everything you may want is NOW. Tomorrow never comes simply because it is only a thought.

This is an often asked question and the answer is a decidedly and disappointing no. Only practitioners who are first medical doctors can make use of OHIP. Psychiatrists are medical doctors whose main approach is to deal with mental health disorders through drugs are covered by OHIP.

There are a few ways to answer this question? The simplest is to just say no, certainly not for a practitioner with thirty years of experience. I am near the higher end of the typical fee range for coaching services. There are others who are higher as well.

In addition, I just want to mention that I don't believe many people recognize the training and the ongoing education of those who provide help.

Finally, many people resent paying for help when it comes to a service that they believe they should have been able to handle on their own. We hire lawyers and accountants at exorbitant rates for their expertise. There is absolutely no shame in wanting help with mental and emotional direction.

I both love and cringe at these questions. Allow me to throw it back to the questioner. Are you a person who charges ahead at all costs OR when change is upon you, running for the hills seems easier. If you said the former I don't believe you. Your position will always be to resist change. The process of change is always avoided.

You take a lifetime to build this character called self and you will not stare deeply into the mirror without the development of trust.

While there certainly are some issues that are quite specific and can be addressed within a few sessions, working with a guide or coach is a committed process. Coaching is not a process that only attempts to eradicate symptoms. Many of your root causes of ill-health are long-standing and unconscious. Learning to be aware of these issues and their impact does take time.